曾思瀚(Francisco Tsang)
House or Child? What will you choose alternatively if you divorce?

http://v.qq.com/x/page/r03328geps1.html

   These days, there has been a video widely spreading on line, which is on the topic of alternatively choosing child or house if you divorce in Shenzhen. In the vedio every male interviewee chooses house for the house is too expensive, while every female chooses child for child is priceless. This video has given rise to a heated discussion around me and here I post my opinion.

   I have quite a bit doubts about this video:

   1. What is the motivation of the videomakers? Before they started the interview job,did they presupposed something, which may indicate that male tends to be realistic and cruel in marriage while female becomes a great mother if she had a child? Even though there are no pre-assumptions,how many people have they interviewed in total? And did they present major views in summary or just present views close to their own's?

   2. The video was shot in Shenzhen, where an average salariat with monthly pay of 5000 yuan may spend over 100 years' saving(no other expenditure) by himself to buy a 100 square metres house. Hence the house impacts a lot. If they do the same interview in cities with a relatively reasonable housing-price-to-income ration, such as Changsha, Chongqing, Singapore and the small town I live in, will they receive same replies?

   3. What's the economic situation of every interviewee? Money means a lot to those who lack, while it may be just a number to those who have. Hence, if the videomakers ask same question to those who are richer than the middle class, especially those who have several or even more than ten housings, will they receive same replies? 

   4. In social concept of China, the stress of buying house may be more severe for male before marriage. We can sometimes hear of news that mother-in-law-to-be objects that her daughter marries a man who can't afford a house. However, seldom can we hear of news that mother-in-law-to-be objects that his son marries a woman who can't afford a house. In societies where housing is not a necessity for males to get marry, such as the USA, Brazil, Europe, will the interview lead to same result?

   5. The idea of gender equality has been strongly initiated in China for over a century. However, undoubtedly, the traditional thought that "male to earn money, female to keep house" has rooted in most Chinese still. Such thought influences each couple invisibly. Therefore, male tends to think that he should earn more than his wife and make greater contribution to the family. In a gender-equal society, especially in some European countries where feminism prevails, will the interview lead to same result?

   6. One's attitude may not accord with his behavior. I would suggest that the videomakers go to the court to collect data about the divorce cases around these years. Then we can verify what male and female will choose under the true divorce circumstance. Isn't that more objective than street interview? 

   Above are my opinions on this video. You may say I haven't made my conclusion but just kept asking and asking. Yes, I seldom judge something rashly without careful and scientific verification. If there are some words to say, I oppose that people take a part for a whole by this video. I can easily show you some opposite examples. I know some girls terminated pregnancy for they were afraid their children would bring troubles. I also know some single mothers abandoned their children and remarried. However, I never overgeneralize that all the females are selfish and cruel. That is absolutly unfair for females all over the world if you just make a conclusion with arguments around you.

    

    


Oct 6, 2016 7:19 AM
Comments · 5
I'm not married or have any kids but to me it would be common sense to choose your child over a house :|
October 6, 2016

Yes I am a native German


October 8, 2016
@mark,  Thanks for your points. I think we MUST be skeptical of any obviously tendencious videos.
October 8, 2016
@sid1995,  thanks for your answer. Are you a native German? And could I know what gender you are of?
October 8, 2016

If I'd ever divorce, I'd hope things can be settled in a more reasonable way so that this question does not arise.

It's more normal here than in China to pay for the house together, but even if not, both should get some share of the house's value.

I think it'd be frowned upon to offer to trade the house for the child, and even more condemnable to actually accept, and break of contact with your own child for financial gain.

Lastly, videos like this in English on Youtube are very often staged or very selectively edited. Without being stereotypical, things in China are on rare occasion fake too so...

October 6, 2016
曾思瀚(Francisco Tsang)
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), Chinese (Cantonese), Chinese (Other), English, German, Portuguese
Learning Language
English