Farisha
Living with parents.

From where I come from, living with parents is a noble thing to do, but it seems in America (based on movies I've watched), living with parents are for losers. So what do you think about this and how people around you would react if you still live with your parents? 

Updated:

Maybe noble is not the right word in this context, "normal" is much more suitable.

Sorry if i offended any Americans by being stereotypical. For people like me i think we only knew about the American culture by what being portrayed in the hollywood movies and news. 

And thank you for your answers :)

Mar 22, 2017 11:10 AM
Comments · 25

Things have changed in American over the last 10-20 years.  It used to be that as soon as you could. you moved out and got your own place.  Then when I graduated college (about 20 years ago), it was more common to move back home for perhaps a year or two until you were able to get a job that paid enough so that you could afford to rent an apartment or a house (usually with roommates).  However, I can't think of any of my friends, myself included, that actually LIKED living at home after college.  We were all counting down the days until we could move into our own place and be on our own  For many years, I worked two jobs -- a full-time and a part-time -- so that I could afford to not live in my parents' house.  I wanted the privacy and independence that living on my own, even with roommates, gave me.

However, after the economy here really tanked about 10 years ago and the job market became worse and worse for recent graduates, the trend has been to move home after university (or never to move at all if you didn't go to college) and stay until your late 20s or even older.  It's becoming more common to live at home for a long time, now.

It's not that the average American parent considers their child-rearing to be finished when the kid turns 18.  Most parents are okay with their children moving back home/staying at home as long as they are in college or if they have a job.   But we generally expect our children to be independent by a certain age; and to us, part of independence is moving out of your family home.  As mentioned, the USA is a individualist society, so we don't feel the need to  be in constant contact with our family or to involve them in our lives on a regular basis.  We tend to make decisions (and mistakes) on our own.  That's not a good or a bad thing, just a different approach. 


March 22, 2017

I will tell you, the impression you get about those 'losers' who live with their parents - it is because they are considered lazy and they  are not willing to make it on their own.  They are not willing to become an adult, get a job, and take care of themselves like an adult should do.  They relay on their parents for money, to wash their clothes, and feed them.   It is based on the idea that in our culture, once you are done with school, you move out and make it on your own - and if you don't, you are considered lazy and weak.  (I may have phrased that a little harsh, but to make the point more clear).


You can make fun of someone, by suggesting in one way or another that they ".. live in their parents basement".  :)


Of course there are real world exceptions - heath issues, divorce,  some catastrophe - it is accepted for parents and adult children to live together.    Also, the younger generation - in their 20s - more of them are starting to stay with their parents longer than previous generations.





March 22, 2017
Living with your parents as an adult definitely lowers your social status in the USA.
March 22, 2017
I think its mostly because the west has an individualistic society and east has a more family-oriented society :). I have been raised in the UK, but am ethnically Indian, so my culture is quite mixed!! I think it is a lovely thing to live with your parents and care for them! ^_^ and it never bothers me what others would think :), since I am thinking on my side that they should care for their parents more lol
March 22, 2017
I have to add a comment here.  My parents have not really wanted for me to move back in with them.  They have stated bluntly that if I needed money to make the bills, they will gladly give me money, so that I don't have to move back in. They actually said I could not move back in with them.  They groaned once when I joked about it.  I did however move home right after college before finding a job, and once more after Hurricane Katrina, but that was out of my control.  After a few weeks, I moved out and got an apartment, in the same town, only a few miles away, just so I could have my freedom.  That said, I love my family.  I don't think it speaks to Americans as not being close to or having a good relationship with our families, only that we are fiercely independent.  I think most parents want their children to move out and be independent and successful.
March 22, 2017
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