Sanaa
Toefl essay in english

Can anyone who speaks very well english,  help me out here and try to correct my essay. I don´t have the financial Capacity to pay for a preparation language school . That´s  why I prepare all by myself at home.  I would appreciate it a lot if someone could give me his or her opinion about my writing.

The subject of the essay is : " Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Parents are the best teachers. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. "  



Many people believe that parents are better educators than teachers. Some argue that parents can not fullfil the job of a teacher in teaching their children. I personally believe that education starts at home, which I will discuss in the following essay.


First , when it comes to parenthood people think it´s all about changing diapers and taking care of the child and fulfilling the requirement that meets with his or her living needs. being a parent goes far beyond that. It´s a parents duty to pass down their knowledge and morals to their children.which will provide the child the basic foundation in order to interract with the outside world and lead a succesful life. Furthermore , the education of a child starts since he opens his or her eyes in this world till they are grown up and full matured.


Secondly, parents are committed and involved in teaching their children from the very beginning. as a child is born , they are the first teachers, guidors and mentors. They are the ones who teach us how to walk,talk and behave towards other people in the first phase of our lives. That´s when a child starts unconsciously shaping his or her personality and characters based on how their parents behave and act.Most parents see it as their responsibility to guide their children and tell them what to do. So they won´t make the same mistake they made in their lives. They have a kind of instinct to sacrifice a part of themselves for the betterment of their children.


Third, It´s true that teachers are well trained for teaching with their knowledge and teaching methods.They also play a big role in a childs social and academic outcome. However they only enhance and develop what a child already knows. The basic foundation of ethical and moral values are gained by parents which is difficult to be taught in a learning institution. Because a teacher has to deal with many different individuals at once .This displays that teachers are important in our lives because they prepare us for the future and teach us how to deal with certain real life situations. But the contribution of our parents in our lives are more relevant as they Shape who we are as persons. In addition they have a huge influence on who we become.


In conclusion, Parents are our first best teachers. they are the first persons who really care about our lives and futur. Teachers may not last in our lives as we grow with time. The interraction with them is very temporal and short. Parents are ready to always support us whatever the situation is even though we are all grown up.


Apr 10, 2017 4:21 PM
Comments · 5

Hi Sanaa. In general, the ideas you are expressing are good. However, there are a number of grammatical and punctuation issues. Since this is supposed to be a test of YOUR language skills and not those of someone else, I hesitate to make actual corrections.

A few hints of the kinds of things to watch for:

- Starting a new sentence requires a capital letter on the first word.

- Watch your spelling, a spell checker would help (I don't think there are too many errors, but I did see one or two).

- Be careful starting a sentence with 'because'. There is a very specific way to do it, and it's not something you normally do. Example of a correct way: Because of the warm spring, the snow melted early.

- Watch out for the difference between plural and possessive.

Example:

Correct:Two cats. The cat's toy.

Incorrect: One cats. The cats toy.

April 10, 2017
Wow,  Excellent expression and writing. Very well_organized .This is what I see and think about your essay I would mark it with Excellent if I am your supervisor. 
April 10, 2017
Thanks a lot Vince hendricks ! I will surely take your advice and tips in consideration. 
April 10, 2017
Thank you nada. I really appreciate your feedback !
April 10, 2017
anyone ? 
April 10, 2017