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Natalia St-Va
Complaining or asking for emotional support. Where is the line?

Training English, asking opinions:)

Yesterday one of my friends told me that he wondered how much I came through in my life and almost no one knows even a small part of it. 

I was really surprised (at least because he’s not my close friend) and didn’t know how to react. Though my life is really tough sometimes, it visually looks perfect in many ways and I never complain. Even when I had serious surgeries and suffered a lot, I talked about it in a light manner.  However, my friends know me and will be there for me anyway. 

So, why some like complaining and making problems even from small things while others rarely  do it, even literally  being on the edge of death?  

Personally, I have no ideas. 

However, what I have learned from my own experience is that we can’t judge people rely on their external life as well as there is no point for envy ( at least it’s harmful for yourself). Moreover, I always more attentive to those who never complaining as they might really need help.

What’s your attitude to this issue?

How do you react when someone complains about their lives?

Where’s the line between complaining and asking emotional help? 

Thank you.

Feb 27, 2018 6:08 AM
Comments · 28
Most of friends complian wether for emotional help or asking for help I'm always there for anyone want me to help as best as I could they complain about everything from the smallest to the largest problems or things ,I ignore them but I sometimes get upset with them but I can't tell them that I'm afraid I hurt them just ttrying sometimes stay away of them if they want just complaining
February 27, 2018

I think it's important for us to be aware of the 'emotional vampires.' You know who I mean, the constant complainers who can make you clinically depressed { like them } after just a few minutes of carping.

These are the truly dangerous people. They are dangerous for the mental health of even the strongest of us. These people must be avoided at all cost.

February 27, 2018

It's interesting that some people who have a strong tendency to complain usually dwell on trivial matters, given that they don't undergo any life-threatening events. This is probably because they tend to dramatise their life situations. Put another way, they may unconsciously identify themselves with their complaints without a concrete purpose. 

On the other hand, the emotionally "silent" people may just be good at collecting their feelings. If they had a chance to lay their desires, wishes etc. bare, they probably wouldn't do so either.

I guess you have more of a contemplative than a vocal type of personality traits. As friends to others, some people are expressive, while others are listeners or question askers. I think either role is fine, and you don't have to juggle between them. 

February 27, 2018

 I see not much difference between complaining and searching for emotional support. Some people make it public while some keep their problems deep inside not letting them out. It depends on personality rather than indicates weakness. 

I don't like those who complain all the time but try to listen to them. They need to be listened to. To be understood, but judged. 

You are a strong personality, Natalia, but it doesn't mean you never need emotional help or support. 

February 27, 2018

I think it stops being merely asking for support when:

1) It goes on too long and happens too frequently.

2) The complaints are about relatively insignificant things.

3) The frustration/sadness/anger seen directed at the person you're talking to. 

February 27, 2018
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Natalia St-Va
Language Skills
English, Russian
Learning Language