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Language Learning Texts: A Spoof. Episode 1: Your Beginner Japanese Textbook

Have you ever noticed that self-teaching texts for every language always assume who you -- the student -- are and why you are learning that language? In the following days I'll be posting a spoof (= a joke version) on the learning materials for several languages. 



Ok, your company has relocated you to Japan!  But, you have NO TIME to learn Japanese, nor any real interest either, never mind the fact that Japanese writing scares the bejeezus out of you. 

That's alright. Don't cry. We'll get through this together!

Here's how you trade business cards. This how you make the present tense. It's not too hard. You probably will need to buy some things so this is the word for "department store"  and "alarm clock", "shirt" and "toothbrush". Oh yeah, and "lawyer". 

We understand you don't want to be bothered with written Japanese, but there are some words it's very helpful to be able to read like "Women" and "Men" restroom signs, ok? Here they are. Just memorize the shapes. 

(You know if you are going to be in Japan for a while, it might be a good idea to start learning to read a little more. At least Hiragana. Just a suggestion.) 

This is how you make the past tense. It's not too hard. 

These are polite ways to accept or turn down invitations from other business people.  This is a tatami mat. Yes, it IS important.  This is how the Tokyo underground system works.  

This is how you can form some plurals. We know -- looks nuts -- just accept it. 

Don't put this book down yet. YOU CAN DO IT! 

This is  how adjectives work.  

Don't cry. Please. You will embarrass your Japanese colleagues. We're almost to the end anyway.

(Congratulations! You have completed book 1!)

Look for Episode 2: Spanish !

Mar 15, 2018 12:10 AM
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Language Skills
Danish, Dutch, English, German, Italian, Spanish, Welsh
Learning Language
Danish, Dutch, Italian, Welsh