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Débora
Where does confidence come from? How important is the sense of accomplishment? What happens to our brains when we hit our goals? Does it increase hope? I did not grow up in an environment where I would see people making plans or having goals. Unfortunately, not even in college did my professors teach me how crucial it is to optimize our lives. I used to not have any Long-term or Short-term goals. However, everything changed once I started paying attention to those who have been living what most people consider a successful life. You can see in their eyes how motivated and confident they are. Where does their confidence come from? I have read that confidence is essentially the stuff that turns our thoughts into action. I have also read that we are only happy when we are doing something. If action leads to confidence what happens with those who procrastinate? Success leads to success. I see it everywhere. Bilingual people tend to learn a third language. Those who are into music tend to learn how to play multiple instruments. Business people tent to open different companies. I assume they think, “I have done it once, so I can do it twice”. Therefore, to me the key is to take the first step and find a way to keep myself motivated.
29 de mar de 2018 18:50
Comments · 23
  • Débora...

Everything you wrote is true.

I have a simple explanation that describes where confidence comes from.

Confidence is a feeling that comes from the thoughts that we have.

Our thoughts come from our experiences and our imaginations.

If we focus on reality, then we must consider our experiences.

If we have done things in our lives, and if those things we did turned out successfully, then we should believe that we could be successful again in the future.

If we have succeeded in the past, then we should believe that we could be successful again in the future, so we should think and feel that way.

That means we should be confident.


By the way, your discussion is well-written, so you should be a little confident about your English writing skills.

29 de Marzo de 2018
Briefly speaking, actions are most important for having confidence.
 Theory is nothing without action. We can read thousands books about swimming, for example, but not be able to swim. However, if we try to master swimming in real water without reading any instruction beforehand, we will swim sooner or later, it depends on motivation only.
As to " the more succesful was previous experience the more confident we are" - it is absolutely not. If it were true, succesful people would never be succesful. So, the main difference between succesful people and losers is not that the first don't make mistakes, but they are not afraid to do mistakes again and again. Unsuccesful people are always afraid to do mistakes. 

4 de Mayo de 2018

Where does confidence come from?

I consider myself confident in somethings, and not so confident in others. At work I am confident because I have been doing it a long time. In driving heavy machinery, trucks, cars I am confident. In my language I am confident. In relationships I am not confident, perhaps because I was confident in my marriage and it ended abruptly. In that moment my life changed profoundly, painfully. I am confident of my inevitable conclusion and this fact has made me realise something monumental which is this, nothing matters. Being rich, being poor, being ignorant, being educated, being famous, being nobody, we all die in the end. To me what matters is the time I have, I enjoy Monty Python, laughing at comedy, experiencing my life as I choose to live it. 

29 de Marzo de 2018

@Bluebottle 

Unable and confident => Overconfident : it's definitely not a good thing. 

However, with the same level of ability, a confident person will perform better at doing a task or at learning something new (like how to swim or to speak a language) and thus will achieve more ability afterwards. 

In some cases, the "Fake it till you make it" does work, though not always. 


4 de Mayo de 2018
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ian. I definitely agree with you, our time is precious .
29 de Marzo de 2018
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Débora
Language Skills
English, Portuguese, Spanish
Learning Language
English, Spanish