Try giving the waiter or waitress some 'real' tips. These are handy ones that I dispense from time to time:
Buy low, sell high. Don't sunbathe. Brush your teeth regularly. Don't play in the traffic. Watch your language in airports. Buy the correct size shoes. Don't go parachuting unless you're a professional. Don't argue with your mother-in-law. Don't give your kids weird names. Don't eat broccoli.
I hope these help. You're welcome.
I was trying to lighten things up a bit. But as usual, there is always a nasty, sour person with no sense of humor who has to downvote an answer.
And he or she will downvote these two comments by me. Just wait and see.