Tania
Please help me to proofread my essay. Punctuation, grammar, vocabulary

Some people who have toddlers suppose that children eat better when the television is turned on. It hooks their attention and helps to focus rather on the meal. I am of the opinion that the direct television advertising to the young children play one of the important roles for the advertisers and should not be prohibited. Very often children watch television with their parents who are decision makers in the purchasing process. Also, children tend to copy the behavioral model of adults and their peers.


First and foremost, even if the advertising is directed on the children - parents without actually noticing this are becoming the object of advertisers. When children eat or just play near the television, parents do their housework or just look for a baby and inadvertently pay attention to the television broadcast. A lot of advertisers know this and launch implicit television advertising campaigns. To the words, nowadays - in the world of big choice, many companies pay attention to the emotional part of advertising, not on the aggressive sales.


Moreover, children are the ones who often copy that they see. Sometimes it can be not so good cases, but other times it can be morality cases. For example, one dairy company promotes butter on the Ukrainian television and in its advertising video a little girl helps her mother to bake an apple pie. Indeed, it emphasizes respectfulness of family values, taking care of each other, and spending time together. In fact, this advertising covers two aspects. Firstly, it gives the fascinating example for children to follow that little girl and always help their own parents. Secondly, it offers parents a new product which can be a great alternative to previous one.


To put it briefly, direct television advertising toward children very often carries a good message teaching children to respect adults, do not deride of others and as mentioned has an influence on the purchasing process of their parents. There is no sense to prohibit this kind of advertising.

May 25, 2018 1:14 PM
Comments · 9
Please post something like this in the 'notebook' section on italki next time. There's a button specifically for editing other's posts as well as a comment button option. I had to break everything up into tedious bits. 
May 25, 2018
To put it briefly, direct television advertising geared toward children very often carries a good message teaching children to respect adults, does not deride ??? of others and as mentioned (you don't have to mention that you've mention something in you're concluding paragraph) has an influence on the purchasing process of their parents. There is no sense to prohibit (this works, but you can also use 'in prohibiting') this kind of advertising.
May 25, 2018
and always encourages children to (always is a guarantee implying that children will never not help their parents) help their own parents. Secondly, it offers parents a new product which can be a great alternative to previous one.(Note: Not every product being advertised is going to be an upgrade to something the target audience owns. It could be a product they have never bought before.)
May 25, 2018
For example, one a (because it's a random generalized example not related to the topic) dairy company promotes butter on the Ukrainian television and in its advertising video a little girl helps her mother to bake an apple pie. Indeed, it emphasizes respectfulness of family values (you're listing family values and respect is a family value, so you need to switch these two. For example, 'family values such as respect, taking care...etc'), taking care of each other, and spending time together. In fact, this advertising covers two aspects. Firstly, (First off or First) it gives the fascinating example for children to follow that little girl (be like that little girl/ follow in the little girl's footsteps)
May 25, 2018

To the words, (This is not a phrase we ever use- Maybe you mean 'In other words,) nowadays - in the world of big choices decisions (Choices tend to be small things. Decisions are big.), many companies pay attention to the emotional part of advertising, not on the aggressive (what do you mean? sales cannot be aggressive) sales.

Moreover, children are the ones who often copy that they see. Sometimes it can be not so good cases (Since it's cases, instead of case, you have to use 'there are some' or 'there can be' instead of 'it can be') but other times it can be morality cases.

May 25, 2018
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