Many students and professionals have to describe figures in charts and graphs at work and in exams such as IELTS academic writing and C1 Business Higher. This is a challenging task. Even if someone understands a chart perfectly, they can still write a sentence that, literally, makes no sense.
Consider the sentences below. Your task (non-native speakers only, please) is to explain why they are wrong and try to fix them.
1. The production of electricity in China in 2014 was 5,398 billion kWh.
2. The men who did regular physical activity in 2010 were 52.8% in the 15-to-24 age group.
I will check back tomorrow and comment.
Not sure of what I've just wrote... Feel free to comment! (everybody)
-Electricity production in China amounted to 5,398 billion kWh in 2014.<o:p></o:p>
-In 2010, 58,2% of men who did a regular physical activity belonged to the 15-to-24 age group.<o:p></o:p>
Milena has given correct answers and understood the problems.
Often, mistakes of logic are made because of the use of the word "to be". When we say A=B or A is B, then we must be able to see that there is a logically true equivalence.
In 1, the meaning "production = a number" is not logical. We need to add the idea of "amount" e.g. "The amount of electricity produced was [number of units]" Or, we can rephrase the sentence with a dynamic verb (which is what Ali did).
Likewise in 2, men = a %? (e.g. "My friend Tom is 40%?!").
I recommend using dynamic verbs in this structure:
subject + verb + object/complement
It is worth knowing that at a near-native level (which, impressively, Milena and Ali have), these kinds of sentences need a bit of thought but can be formulated more or less reliably. However, below such a level, learners need specific training.
Thanks for all the replies.
In 2014, China produced 5,398 billion kWh of electricity.
In 2010, 52.8% of the male age group of 15 to 24 were regularly physically active.