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Anna
Give me advise About 9 years ago, I fell in love with someone and we were together for 3 years. We had a lot of things in common and we loved each other's truly ! But after 3 years, something happened and i never understood what was it , suddenly everything has changed and he said that he didn't know me at all! I was surprised and i couldn't do anything because he didn't want to talk to me and he deactivated his facebook account and changed his number and travel to abroad ! I hadn't hear anything about him and what he do or how his life is going on, and after 6 years, finally today i got some news about him from a old friend, he has came back and yesterday he had a car accident and now he is in a hospital close to me! I surprised when I remembered that last year exactly in a such day I was car accident and i was at hopital that he is now and I was completely alone ! I am really upset about him but i don't know what should i do! If i go to see him or not, I'm at bad emotional situation , am i right to know the truth after 6 years or not! Am i right to know what happened to our relationship and all that feelings and what caused to spend my life in sadness or not! What should i do?
Mar 29, 2019 3:44 PM
Comments · 12
Why waste your time for someone who didnt want to be with you? Forget about him and find someone who values you? Respect yourself and move on.
March 29, 2019
Would it really help if you knew the reasons he dumped you? I doubt it. You said yourself that you are in a bad emotional state, that is not a good time to make rational decisions. Their are billions of people on earth, go find another one. 
March 29, 2019

Hi, Anna. Thanks for sharing such a deep relationship of yours. I agree with everyone else's contradicting answers, because I think there is no right or wrong decision. I think any decision you make could end up being positive or negative. And to put more thought out there (for you to consider), here's my contradicting advice: 

Yeah, like the men said,......if he's gone; he's gone. Move on. He broke up with you for a reason. Maybe it's best to keep your distance. And yes, there are still a billion of different guys out there who can treat you better. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't love you or tried to keep his distance by going abroad. You being yourself should already be enough for your man; you shouldn't have to work harder to make him love you. Really. Now be opened to other guys; talk to them. No one has a designated partner; anyone can be your partner. Stop closing yourself in a box. Stop living in the past. Stop reading the same (book) chapter over and over; turn to the next chapter. 

Now. Here's the contradicting flip side: 

I also wouldn't know what to do, but I'd consider the facts and my feelings. Is he single? Married? Has a girlfriend? Do you still have feelings for him/like him/love him/still confused? If he's single (no girlfriend/wife) and you still have a slight interest in him, then it would be nice to get in touch with him and get all your questions/confusions/feelings off your chest, so you could confirm whether you really want to move on or try to pursue him, again. But if you visit him at the hospital, don't come off too strong. Meaning, if he's conscious, don't be quick to get your questions/concerns answered. Just be in the moment. Take care of him. Make sure he eats. Assist him. Maybe even silence is the best at that moment. ..................

March 29, 2019
I will tell you just one thing: You will forgive yourself going there and being maybe even silly to think about him after all this years (what could be the absolute worst case scenario? He rejects to even talk about it or ignores you completely-fine, now you know he is a jerk! Move on) BUT you will never forgive yourself not trying at all! We humans are curious beings, if you are still thinking about him after 6 years you will always wonder “what if I spoke to him? What if I went to the hospital that day? What if this... what if that...” you know what I mean.
March 29, 2019

...

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If he seems angry/sad/upset/negative to see you, then don't use the same attitude back. He's already hurt (physically/mentally/spiritually), that's why he's there; don't hurt him, again. Be calm. Show him love and care no matter how hard, because love is....(1 Corinthians 13:4-8) <-- look that up. :) 

If he's married (or has a girlfriend), then......that is different. You'd need to respect that fact. Like, it's probably best if the person who sees him at the hospital is his wife/girlfriend. Maybe get your answers/curiosities after the hospital...

Or stop living with fake scenarios that you make in your head. Just wait until he's better and talk to him (whether it's at the hospital or after). You have a question? Ask him. Still like him? Confess. Get these questions/feelings off your chest. There's nothing to lose....even if he rejects you (again), you still lose nothing because he was never yours after the break-up. (*Sorry, that came off blunt/strong.) 

Sorry, I don't even know anything, so my advice is useless. But remember that at the end of the day, it's you who decides what to do next. Also, sometimes/most of the times our gut is always right. Meaning, if you have a feeling to do something, then do it/ask it/initiate it even if it's not what your friends told you to do. Only you know the relationship between you and him the best. And only you would know what to do at the moment. Do what your gut/inner feeling says. :) 

No matter the outcome....be joyful always. :) *Reminder: "joy" does not equal "happy". 

Good luck! Wish you the best for your future! :)

March 29, 2019
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Anna
Language Skills
English, Persian (Farsi), Turkish
Learning Language
English