You have given us a hard mission.
The answer is inside you.
You´re strong, the power is inside us, you just forgot where you left it. Look for specialized help, a Psycologist could help you.
Make plans, achievable plans. For this year, for the next. The plans are the reason for living of all humans.
Look for to do something that give you pleasure to realize. Maybe grow plants, draw, take pics... I don't know, just you'll be able to.
You have to focus on the good thing to take the control, ever you are doing something focus on positive result. If you are all time complaining and thinking that things go wrong, the worst happens.
Then, do different things, or do the things in different ways. Go out every day, at least for 30 minutes, see the sun and the nature, met new people.
Little changes make a lot little results.
I hope have helped.
You need more serotonin and B-vitamins.
I would recommend that you have to walk outside in the morning and you have to go to bed early tonight (at 10 PM).