Change I to US: Why some language partner request are too self entitled
I received a DM on my Instagram Business account and the DM goes this way,
“Hi,my name is ______. I will take an important exam and I want to ask you if you can help me for FREE .”Sorry that I sent the DM but I sent it because I know that if you can help me, it would BENEFIT ME.” ME, MYSELF AND I. How SELFISH ? As a receiver of this kind of message, do you think I will help someone who only thinks about himself? I can help street children, medical professionals and people who really need it but never to someone who seeks it . His message alone will say a lot of things about him as a person. So in case people are wondering why they haven't found a language partner yet. Try to READ your own message and put yourself in the shoes of the receiver.
To be honest I received a lot that is similar to his message as if I was a charitable institution . You see, I am willing to help people. I can make unlimited discussions for free for people to use. I can create teaching videos and free content but it does not mean that I am willing to help those who actively seek it because THEY FEEL (subjective) that they deserve the help that they are not willing to give to others.
I never answered the DM. I think it was pretty obvious that my account was teacher status. I could have offered help but you know why I didn’t. His sentences were focused on how it would benefit him and forgot to mention how he can help me. You see why even marriages fail nowadays? It’s because people always focus on me and not us. Instead of offering the first 30 minutes to help me with Spanish, he just focused his sentences on how it would benefit him. I said, “WOW”,what a self-entitled person. If it was a friend who sent me the message or someone who really needed the help, I would help given that his sentences do not focus solely on himself. Will I use my extra time helping out a stranger that only wants help because he thinks he deserved to be helped? I would probably use the time which I rarely have to do my laundry or do some charity work to people who really need it. I will train young adults living in a remote village about exam preparation for FREE anytime but someone who will DM like the one I received (which is similar to a hundred DM's I received in a week).
If you haven’t found a language partner yet. Please reflect and ask yourself why? If you want someone to help you, ask yourself if you can give the same amount of help to that person...CAN YOU? because if you can't...then you know what the answer is...GO SOLO because if the word "partner" means two people benefiting, not one unless it's a volunteer job. I know a lot of people here keep looking for a language partner. Don't forget to keep in mind the word "partner"before you put all the I, ME and MYSELF in your request. Learning something is a we, unless you learn something independently.
I wrote this in all honesty and I know it's gonna hurt people but hey I just want to shed light to the question, Why is it so difficult to find a language partner? Just in case you are looking for months, weeks or days.