How to make this composition sounds native?
Good afternoon, everyone. Now I'd like to describe the features of a person and you guess who he is.
A. The words of his WeChat respond are usually “Um” or “Oh”. It seems like that may kill him if he says one more word.
B. His sleep snoring sounded like thunder.
C.The person seems to have no emotion. He never says “very good” to you openly, and will never say he loves you.
D.He's very stubborn and won't accept other people's ideas.
So, do you know who he is?
That's right, my dad.
Actually, it’s our dads. Our group shared stories about our dads, and we discovered that dads of all us are so similar.
These features I mentioned above are annoying! Right?
But in the discussion, we discovered that perhaps this is the way this man loved us.
Though he looks like a machine which could only say “Um” or “Oh” , his words were expressed in this way…(Here is a picture showing that my dad sent me money on WeChat immediately after I told him I need it.) If he is a machine, he is an ATM.
Though he has a lot of bad habits, he tries his bad to overcome it for us. One of our group members said that the days before her college entrance exams,in order not to let his thunder-like snoring bothered his daughter, her dad stayed up late every night, waiting until she fell asleep.
Although he never said “I missed you”, he probably has said it many times in his mind. For example, one of our group members said she never heard her father say he missed her. But once her father got drunk and told her in a video call: “I miss you.” She was surprised and touched. Maybe only when he is not limited by his awkward character, he is able to directly express his true feeling.
Despite his stubbornness, he tries his best to accept my ideas that he even doesn't understand. One day I told him I was going to study abroad. he had never been abroad and didn't see the need for me to study abroad. And he even thought that a foreign country would be a dangerous place where he would lose his daughter. He lapsed into silence when I told him my plan. After a long while, he said that he would support me, and still no extra words. Since then, I noticed that he was worked harder to save money.
Of course, when it comes to our childhood impressions of our dads, we acknowledge that they were our idol. When we were kids, we felt that dad knew everything, ...
The rest is in the comment section.