Thank you for the future comments.
It depends on how you understand Misyar marriage, it's exactly the same like marriage but the only difference that the wife cede some of her rights by her own satisfaction like demand him to spend on her "money" if she's rich enough etc... but the important part is the satisfaction of the wife, For your information there's a big the scholars differed concerning the ruling of this kind of marriage but you can say it's better if you avoid it because of the bad effects it might rise.
Look Rob losing virginity without marriage is a great sin in Islam So who ever you met has dont such thing should repent by a special way So it's not normal thing to do as you think, And of course this is a great sin for men/women there's No diffrence in evaluating this hideous act.
To make this clear, the main rule is to never lose your virginity before marriage but if that happen there's certain procedures before you think to get married and it's applied on both sides for men/women, And for " can the wifes family return the husband if he is not a virgin?" yes of course they should do this as I said for both sides.
To make it more simple why would you bring the matches near to the oil, this's what I ment of course any sane person would say that a man should has a self control on his lusts and desires but what if we adhered to this medical saying "Prevention is better than cure" So you make sure that you have like the perfect protection to the woman, And again this doesn't reduces the freedom of the woman it just for her advantage.
Here it is very important yet.