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Writing: Is this a good example?

In your opinion, from what you were taught in studying the English language, is this a good paragraph or not? Explain.


Optimization with Constraints: In navigating complex situations, humans are constantly trying to improve their approach and solutions. In other words, they are trying to optimize. In all cases however, such optimization is conducted under constraints. Last Friday, President Frank went before a faculty town hall in order to answer questions and to engage in a conversation about new budget models. During some of the exchanges, I was struck by how much the principle of optimization of constraints was displayed: from questions about budgeting to comments about the mission of UNM and how resources should be allocated, it was obvious that while all attendees shared the same objective, their information and constraints varied greatly. In the case of a University, the hard constraints should be our common values as a public research university. Softer, but still important constraints are imposed by our geography and our dependence on the State of New Mexico and student tuition for funding. It is not, for example, realistic to expect that we can reduce the number of our incoming students by one third in order to improve our graduation rates, since that will run against our mission as well as reduce our funding. It is also not realistic to admit more students who may not be academically prepared, as that will jeopardize both our funding (at the output end) as well as our research mission (more efforts and resources going to remediation versus supporting research).

Look forward to your responses!

Oct 24, 2012 9:21 PM
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Language Skills
English, Latin
Learning Language