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Which one is better?

A native English speaker wrote,

'I agree with the view that stars in the entertainment business are usually over paid. However, it is also true that it is only those who reach the very top of their profession who can get these huge salaries.'

 

My friend and I think that the second sentence can be improved. We suggested different changes:

a) However, it is also true that it is only those who reach the very top of their profession that can get these huge salaries.

b) However, it is also true that it is only those that reach the very top of their profession who can get these huge salaries.

c) However, it is also true that only those who reach the very top of their profession can get these huge salaries.

 

Is each of the above versions correct?

Which one do you prefer, and are any of them better than the original one?

Jul 28, 2014 11:54 AM
Comments · 2

 

    The original sentence is fine  as it is written. It is difficult to improve upon originality.

 

   Keeping in mind that English is a very flexible language, all of the other sentenes  would also be sufficient.  However, the wording of the original  would probably be what I would write  to express the same idea.  Any sentence and idea can have many variations. I will show some.

 

 

Variation #1   "However, it is also true that  only those who  excel in  their profession

receive   huge salaries."

 

Variation #2   "Remember, it is  a  fact  that only those in the top ranks

of their profession obtain to the highest incomes."

 

Variation #3  "The  brute fact of the issue is that it is only those in the upper echelons

of celebrity status who obtain to the highest incomes."

 

Variation #4  "Insofar as any discussion of high income pertaining to celebrities can be considered,

it should be realized that only those at the very pinnacle of their profession 

  get into the stellar income bracket."

 

Variation #5  "Not all celebrities  acquire   bucket loads of cash, because one  must be in the

higher echelons of income to get that much money."

 

 and on, and on,  and on. 

 

  (But you cannot beat the original sentence.

It is a clear and straightforward communication of the idea.)

 

.

 

July 28, 2014

However, it is also true that only those who attain the very top of their profession can acquire these huge salaries.

July 28, 2014