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Please check my error for IELTS writing task 2 “Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology and procedures. This money should be spent instead on health education to keep people well.” New and advanced developments have come up every second in the 21 century developing world. People will not be able to work well to develop their country if they were not in a good health. Nowadays, the developed countries from the rich world spend most of their health budgets on incredibly expensive medical technology and procedures. There are some people who are against this system but I feel positive to this. I have reasons why I write so. The first opinion for this is about the machines. Every machine, expensive or less expensive, has guarantees, whether it would last for three years or more. Normally, the machines work properly longer than their guarantees. However, those machines could give wrong results. If it became so, it would not be good for both sides; patients’ and doctors’. The patients would suffer from depression if wrong results were given. The second opinion is about the citizens. If there were mistakes in those machine, the rich might go abroad to have medical treatments. This may be like giving money to the other country. Actually, the patient’s country should get this money since there are machines but no accurate. The final opinion why I feel positive is for the sake of tourism. If there were latest technology and procedures in one’s country, they could feel proud for that in the field of medicine. And the doctors from the other countries might come and learn, discover the advanced technologies. And more or less, they might travel around the country. As a result, that country might earn some tourist budgets. To sum up, the country with latest medical technologies can have uncountable advantages. Health education can be given by the volunteers who might, in addiction, save money for the expensive materials to be bought. For these opinions, I said I am “positive” to the developed countries spending their medical budgets on expensive medical technology and procedure.
Dec 1, 2014 5:43 AM
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Tulum
Language Skills
Burmese, Chinese (Mandarin), English, Other
Learning Language
English