I won't worry about the past. It's done, it's over, move on. There is only one thing I would like to change that I continue to strive to work on and it's to keep my word. I've promised some hard things to myself but now I realized that I am not able to achieve one thing because I need to stop thinking only about me if I want to achieve that goal. I think this is because my family'd always left me alone and I adopted it seriously. I know that the job is important and I admit that I'm spoiled because I'm the only child in the family but I needed more attention and not only material things. However, I am responsible for my acts now, it depends on me to change.
there is one thing I hate about myself, I prejudge some people I cannot get connected to some countries people i consider some countries' people so emotional for example and I avoid them because i would think they are not logical people :/ one thing mre I hate about me is that I automatically love a beautiful baby more than an ugly baby :/ I don't know where the hell is the origine of this ugly behaviour , I guess it could be tv , in all series films we watch beautiful people are kind and good people and all ugly people are crimes. I am trying really hard to change this ,
You are right Mariella. We need more than growing up. We have to grow our feelings, life style, acts etc. I hope you can do the best for you right now. I really hate past and saying "I wish" about the past. We have the future. We should do best for us and I think we do :)
I would change my appearance to look like the models on Tv. Just to know how it feels like.
I really don't know. I always says: "I really want a different hair" or "If I can, I will change this". But now, after see your question and think a lot, nothing I suppose
Maybe it won`t sound good but I`d like to be more egoistic. I mean, just a little bit more egoistic because I`m too altruistic and sometimes sacrifice myself too much.
Writing this I keep in mind a book by Polish writer, Bolesław Prus, "Suffragists" ("Emancypantki"). It is a very long novel from the XIX century, having 3 volumes. There is a very special fragment in the second volume when a father is talking to her daughter, Magdalena, who is the main character of the book. Magdalena Brzeska is just a big altruist but she`s very naive, too and she sacrifices herself a lot. The father, talking to her, gave her an advice to be a little bit more egoistic to defend herself from people who can use her naivety and good heart. I`ll try to translate the fragment. I`m sorry for the mistakes if I make any.
" - And now, my dear child, I will give you one and the only advice, which try to remember... Do you know the our cherry tree which branches fall through the fence? Everyone who believes in God plucks its fruits, not only ripe and unripe, but also its flowers, leaves and even branches. Well, my dear, you`re in the same danger...
- Me, daddy?
- Yes. People act with a person in the same way: they take him/her money, time, work, beauty, mind, heart and even the good name... They will take him/her everything if they don`t defend themselves with their own egoism... That`s why the reasonable egoism is the beneficial power, it is the fence for the cherry tree...
Remember to not let the world to deprive you and to break you as the mudlarks, guttersnipers do with our cherry tree."