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could you help me with my personal statement for graduate school application :)

Hello everyone, it is the first time I come to italki, I am kind of excited that I can meet friends from all over the world.

I really hope you can offer me a hand. I am applying for an accounting master program in an American University UIUC. Recently, I finished my personal statement, and have already rectified it several times according to advice offered by my Chinese friends. But before I submit it, I really hope that someone who is proficiency in English/ a native English speaker can help me with it so that I can avoid some Chinglish mistakes, LOL. May be you could offer me some sensible advice so that I can make a little progress :) 

Hopefully, after I finish all my application process, I will spend more time here, we can exchange ideas, make friends, and learn from each other!

If you can offer me a hand, please send me message with your email so that I can email you my PS. I really really appreciate all your support and I am looking forward to your good advice :)


P.S. my DDL for application is Jan. 15. 

P.S. I am in Xi'an,the starting point of the Silk Road and home to the Terracotta Army of Emperor Qin Shi Huang. Then ,in March, I will go to Amoy (Xiamen), a beautiful habor city. If you are going to visit these two cities in China, I am honored to be your tour guide!



大家好,我是来自中国的一名学生,目前正在准备美国UIUC学校研究生的申请。自我陈述(personal statement)我已经完成了,并且已经让周围的朋友提过意见,但是我还是希望有以英语为母语的同学能帮我提提意见,避免自己犯一些表达不清楚或者比较chinglish的毛病。这是我第一次在italki发言,非常的开心能遇到来自全世界的朋友,也希望在这一阵子申请季忙完以后,能常来和大家交流,互相在语言的学习上提供支持和帮助,谢谢!如果你愿意最近抽空帮我看一下我的PS并且提出意见,请一定要给我发讯息,留一下你的邮箱,好让我能把自己的PS发给你。期待你的宝贵意见!非常感谢你的帮助,希望我们能成为长长久久的好朋友!

Jan 7, 2015 3:02 PM
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Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English, French, Spanish
Learning Language
English, French, Spanish