Hi everyone, I started a discussion about how to be more talkative a while ago and apparently on a mistake it was deleted. Of course it re-opened now - thanks to Mumtaz - but I decided to make a new discussion that is related to the previous one and it's about Fear ( I remmebered a quote which states "FEAR = Flase Evidence Appearing Real"
I've heard many methods about this topic, suggestions in order to speak more easily, with more confidence and it makes the situation a little better but most of the time when I want to use those techniques suddenly my body shakes, sometimes I start to sweating, my muscles become tight, my breathing becomes shallower. However I always start to speak and I struggle to distract my mind from this fear and just let it go, but it doesn't change the situations a lot.
And I think these reactions are common to all fearful situations. Like many people that I've seen have fear of heights and even and if you put them in those places they can't be normal anymore, they become nervous, they speak become different, and they would get other sensations that someone like me has when he supposed to speak in public.
So I want you to talk about your experience about how do you overcome your fears in your life? I mean fears that was with you for a long time, what methods did you use? how long it took to get rid of that fear? and whatever you think can is related to this topic.
You're welcome Vahid.
I wish I had a special recipe to overcome fears, but most of my fears are new and I didn't over come them yet to be honest. In the recent years I discovered that I fear military tanks, so everything you described in the way you feel when you try to speak, applies to me when I see military tanks, they're the ugliest things on earth!
I also discovered that I fear hights in the recent years! So sitting in the window seat during my flight is out of the question! As a matter of fact I always see the same dream; which is a plane trying to fly but instead it falls and crashes near my home.
As stated above, the thought of aging scares me as well, although I learnt to come to terms with that. But I also realized that when I have children, this feeling will probably disappear because I will know they are still young and can achieve what they want in life. But maybe technology will be so advanced even in our lifetime that we can find a way to become young again. :)
My other fear is to speak in a foreign language (except for English and French), because if I make a mistake, I feel really bad about that. This is true despite knowing that in order to learn a language, making mistakes is inevitable and a natural part of the process. But I found the solution to the problem: first talking to myself, then to others whose mother tongue is also different. This helps me gain confidence to talk to native speakers as well.
Hi nice topic, I have been a fear for a long time. No matter years goes by but I notice that influence my action. I think that start from my law study. There are many question and cases so horriblely. But it did not mean that I did not have fear before it,I just face it and have a firm standpoint. But that still exist.
After studying law, I started to consider those reasons that law offer, So those fear start to reflect on my action. I think that is very deeply, so I can not simply said my thought.
I think that make me like dog between a stick and meat.
So my problem may come out from the society of people where I am.
The thought of getting old always terrifies me. I think my fear for aging mostly came from my feeling that I’ve accomplished nothing so far and maybe my fear has something to do with how disappointed I am with myself. Also, I am scared of the appearance with grey hair. I saw the sign of it coming out. Oh god. I have no idea how to overcome this fear and seems that there is nothing I can do