Rina
Please correct my text ! Q. Scholarships should be offered primarily on the financial need, rather than on academic achievement. Agree or disagree with this statement and give concrete examples to your answer. My answer↓ I agree with the idea that scholarships should be offered primarily based on financial need, rather than academic achievement. There are two reasons for this: equality of education and changing academic achievement. First, I think education should be taken everyone equally. From that viewpoint, poor home have less way of taking education due to financial problems and such situation produce the educational gap. For correcting that situation, scholarship should be offered primarily based on financial need. Second, academic achievement is things that can be changed. So I think academic achievement isn't suit for the norm of deciding that. For these reasons, I agree with this statement that scholarships should be offered primarily based on economic reasons, rather than academic records. Thank you for reading finally😉
Sep 23, 2021 3:23 PM
Corrections · 4
Please correct my text ! Q. Scholarships should be offered primarily on the financial need, rather than on academic achievement. Agree or disagree with this statement and give concrete examples to your answer. My answer↓ I agree with the idea that scholarships should be offered primarily based on financial need, rather than academic achievement. There are two reasons for this: equality of education and changing academic achievement. First, I think education should be equal for everyone. From that viewpoint, poor homes have less way of receiving education due to financial problems. This situation produces the educational gap. To correcting this situation, scholarship should be offered primarily based on financial need. Second, academic achievement is a thing that can be changed. So I think academic achievement isn't suit for the norm of deciding that. For these reasons, I agree with the statement that scholarships should be offered primarily based on economic reasons, rather than academic records. Thank you for reading finally😉
Great paragraph! You raised great points and answered the question nicely. Well done!
Sep 26, 2021 10:50 AM
Please correct my text ! Q. Scholarships should be offered primarily based on financial need, rather than on academic achievement. Agree or disagree with this statement and give concrete examples to your answer. My answer↓ I agree with the idea that scholarships should be offered primarily based on financial need, rather than academic achievement. There are two reasons for this: equality of education and changing academic achievement. First, I think education should be available to everyone equally. From my point of view (or “it seems to me that”), poor households are less able to afford education due to financial problems and such a situation produces the educational gap. For correcting that situation, scholarships should be offered primarily based on financial need. Secondly, academic achievement is something that can be changed (or “improved”). So I think academic achievement isn't a suitable measure for deciding to award a scholarship. For these reasons, I agree with this statement that scholarships should be offered primarily based on economic reasons, rather than academic records. Thank you for reading finally😉
I’m not a teacher but a native speaker - just tidied it up a little bit to sound more natural but I could easily understand everything you meant. Hope that helps 😁
Sep 23, 2021 7:00 PM
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Rina
Language Skills
English, Japanese
Learning Language
English