Ingrid
exercise - https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/1115/ The bar chart illustrates the employment rate in Canada, South Korea and Sweden by gender in 2005 and 2015. Overall, in both years for all the countries, the percentage of working men is bigger than women's with South Korea being the country with less females working. However, the percentage of working women increased for all three although not at the same pace. In 2005, Sweden was the country with the highest rate of women employed with around 45%. Nevertheless, by 2015, it was surpassed by Canada that reached about 55% while the former just 50%. The gap between male and female employment was considerably decreased in Canada and Sweden. Meanwhile, with slight growth in both men and women rates in South Korea, the difference between the two did not change much since female employment stayed below 40%.
Feb 19, 2021 7:04 PM
Corrections · 4
exercise - https://www.ielts-exam.net/academic_writing_samples_task_1/1115/ The bar chart illustrates the employment rate in Canada, South Korea and Sweden by gender in 2005 and 2015. Overall, in both years for all the countries, the percentage of working men was higger than women with South Korea being the country with the least females working. However, the percentage of working women increased for all three although not at the same pace. In 2005, Sweden was the country with the highest rate of women employed with around 45%. Nevertheless, by 2015, it was surpassed by Canada which reached about 55% while the former just made 50%. The gap between male and female employment was considerably decreased in Canada and Sweden. Meanwhile, with slight growth in both men and women rates in South Korea, the difference between the two did not change much since female employment stayed below 40%.
Great, this is much better. Well done! Just make sure your 'overall' paragraph is clearly separate. I am not sure if this is quite 150 words. You could add more by giving percentages for men, which your essay should include.
February 19, 2021
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