Eli
Hello everyone, I'll be grateful if you take the time to look into my writing task below, and share your professional comments and edits on that. The likely corrections on punctuation marks and the correct usage of articles are highly appreciated. What would be your suggested score for this writing task? Thank you all, Eli The graph shows the recruitment percentage of English and French-language teachers from 2001 to 2007 in Ontario, Canada. Referring to the graphs’ trend, first-year English-language teachers considerable dropped while the percentage of French-language teachers slightly increased over the mentioned timeframe. In 2001 the percentage of first-year teachers who taught English and French were roughly equal to 70 percent. There has been a dramatic fall of more than 30% in employment of English teachers within two next years. From 2003 to 2005 the percentage of first-year English teachers slightly rose by 5 percent. But it experienced a sudden fall for a second time and recorded a minimum amount at 27% in 2007. On the other hand, subsequent to an initial decrease in recruitment of French-language teachers in 2002, there has been a rather increasing trend in the graduation of French teachers until 2007. The employed teachers of French’s figure gently went down from 70% to 68% in 2006. However, it peaked at 75 percent in 2007. Between 2001 and 2002, the percentage of newly graduated French and English teachers significantly dropped by fourteen percent. From 2003 to 2005, trends for both groups were similar in terms of a slight upward slope. Afterwards, the figure’s structures were opposite and there was a noticeable difference of 46% between French and English-language teachers recruited in 2007. Overall, the first-year English teachers were faced with a dramatic fall to less than 30 percent. While despite some fluctuations, the teachers of French-language were employed on an average of 70 percent over a 6-year-graduation period.
Jun 9, 2021 8:01 PM
Corrections · 2
The graph shows the recruitment percentage of English and French-language teachers from 2001 to 2007 in Ontario, Canada. Referring to the graphs’ trend, the percentage of first-year English language teachers who... considerably dropped while the percentage of French-language teachers who... slightly increased over the mentioned timeframe. In 2001, the percentage of first-year teachers who taught English and French were roughly equal at 70 percent. There was a dramatic fall of more than 30% in employment of English teachers over two next years. From 2003 to 2005, the percentage of first-year English teachers who... rose slightly by 5 percent, but it experienced a sudden fall for a second time and recorded a minimum amount at 27% in 2007. On the other hand, after the initial decrease in recruitment of French-language teachers in 2002, there has been an increasing trend in the graduation of French teachers until 2007. The employed teachers of French’s figure gently went down from 70% to 68% in 2006. However, it peaked at 75 percent in 2007. Between 2001 and 2002, the percentage of newly graduated French and English teachers significantly dropped by fourteen percent. From 2003 to 2005, trends for both groups were similar in terms of a slight upward slope. Afterwards, the figure’s structures were opposite and there was a noticeable difference of 46% between French and English-language teachers recruited in 2007. Overall, the first-year English teachers faced a dramatic fall to less than 30 percent, while despite some fluctuations, the teachers of French-language were employed on an average of 70 percent over a 6-year-graduation period.
This is slightly too long for italki's 2000 limitations, so I deleted the first few lines of your post. Those were correct with no corrections needed. I've only done a brief correction because of italki's limitation. I'd suggest you take a class with me for us to delve deeper into this. What do you think? :)
June 10, 2021
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