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Julie
Could you tell me about a social custom in your country? I'm interested in behaviour between the sexes, relatives, friends, neighbours... Which things are not acceptable? Which ones are important? Thank you in advance.
Feb 2, 2012 10:16 AM
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Answers · 23
In Pakistan family values are given very high importance. People stay closely connected to their neighbors and families. Most people prefer to live in a joint family system after marriage. Generally, guys take care of the financial responsibilities of a family and girls take care of the household stuff. Parents and elders are given very high importance and people consider it an honor to keep their parents with them. The wisdom of elders is considered a valuable asset for a family. Marriages are done in two ways, the traditional way, or love marriage. In both ways the guy must formally send preferably his parents or any elder of his family to ask for the girl's hand in marriage from her parents. Then the parents formally accept the proposal for their daughter, the date of marriage is mutually decided and then the colorful and fun traditional marriage ceremony is performed which takes at least a few days to be completed. =) Traditional marriages are performed this way. The guy and the girl informs their parents of their preferences and then their moms start looking for a partner for them using their personal contacts and on finding the appropriate partner with the required preferences, introduces both the guy and the girl to each other. If they like each other and agree to marry then the marriage ceremony takes place. Getting a divorce is considered a very bad thing and both guys and girls many times go out of the way to avoid getting a divorce specially if they have children. Guys and girls openly interact with each other at schools, colleges and universities but physically touching someone of the opposite gender not related to you is considered very inappropriate, even a handshake. Only someone directly related to you can physically touch someone of the opposite gender, for example, husband/wife, mom/dad, brother/sister etc. Most of these values in the Pakistani society have been taken from Islam. The teachings of Islam are taken very seriously here and people consider Islam not just a religion but their way of life hence they try to live their lives fully according to the teachings of Islam.
February 2, 2012
Hi Julie, I'll try to answer your question about social custom here. Indonesia is an eastern country. Sex is not allowed to a couple who hasn't married. They will be judged as bad person in their environment and actually there is a punishment if they are known doing like that before marry. Unfortunately the law is not work properly and the fact that social behavior in Indonesia has already mixed by many countries. So sex is not a taboo thing anymore. but it still impolite thing to be talked. About relatives, I think it same with other country. We always gather in our celebration day. For example I as the moslem, I always gather with my whole family in Idul Fitri. We visit our other relatives to make good communication with them. It also happen with Christian in their Christmas. Hindu and Budha too... Relatives, neighbor and friend are really important here. In some events. In my place, there are some event about wedding, thanksgiving (but different with US, we do it in many things such as the baby born, send a prayer to our relatives who had passed away, new house, etc). In that time, the role of relative and neighbor are really important. They help to prepare food, to send invitation, To manage the event, etc. We are very close to our family. We respect and take care for old people. As the children, we have an obligation to take care our parents when they are old. So they wouldn't go to nursing home because we are here for them. And the fact that they've already take care for us when we are child, so we must return their favor. As the children too. Mostly we are obedient to our parents and or someone who are older such as grandparents, uncle, aunt. Mostly we must follow what they ask (what I mean here is good thing). And we never call them with their name but we must call their status. Grandma, uncle, aunt, etc. And it happens too when we call our older or younger siblings. We don't call their name but "Kakak, mas, mbak" for older siblings. That happen in my environment but I think every place here has different social custom :)
February 2, 2012
@Eagle: Unfortunately, many people care about their professional sphere more than about a good atmosphere in their families. Because they improperly suppose that their families will be with them forever through thick and thin. They are sure that they may lose a job, rather than a family. But in real life money is not everything, there are also feelings, emotions, friendship, relationship. It's very important do not forget about them respecting the rules only at work place.
February 12, 2012
Of course in every country there is what we name it by the traditions. However, I think that everyone can share the same aim and core of the important things such as marriage, respect your neighbors, family, educations etc... My question is: Why in our professional life we MUST respect the rules (Timing, reporting, responsibility etc...). However, in our personal life we "don't care" about the normal rules?
February 12, 2012
Liza, me too. I'm looking forward to replies about other countries as well. It's really interesting and useful to know!
February 2, 2012
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Julie
Language Skills
English, French, Russian
Learning Language
English, French