Sarah
any mistakes in this short passage? Tianjin Sold 190 kilograms Gold Jewelry in the Golden Week The 7th was the last day of the eight-day holiday, which is the combination of Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day. According to the rough calculation of Tianjin Commerce Association for General Merchandise to 27 department stores. It totaled 697 million yuan for the overall revenue of the eight-day "Golden Week". It recorded 15% volume growth in gold jewelry compared with the previous week. 17 department stores sold 190 kilograms yellow gold for the gold jewelry and set a new record for Tianjin "Golden Week" Gold selling.
Oct 15, 2012 3:28 AM
Answers · 1
Tianjin Sold 190 kilograms of Gold Jewelry in the Golden Week The 7th was the last day of the eight-day holiday, which is the combination of Mid-Autumn Festival and National Day. According to the rough calculation of Tianjin Commerce Association for General Merchandise to 27 department stores, it totaled 697 million yuan for the overall revenue of the eight-day "Golden Week". It recorded a 15% volume growth in gold jewelry compared with the previous week. Seventeen department stores sold 190 kilograms of yellow gold for the gold jewelry and set a new record for Tianjin "Golden Week" gold selling. *Never start a sentence with a number. 17 should be Seventeen I changed the period after stores to a comma, then a lower case i for it. Added the word "a" before 15% And I added a few "of" words. "of Gold Jewelry" and "of yellow gold" Lastly, changed the upper case G to a lower case g in gold on the last line.
October 15, 2012
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