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Kitty
What are the mistakes for following sentences and how to correct them to make it better? 1.The company culture of xx: transparency, accountability, intergrity, dignity and teamwork, which is really attractive. 2.why are you applying to your chosen scheme? As it is relevant to what I have learnt. 3.Working on a team project during my degree, allocating different tasks to group members, taking their individual skills into consideration. with the efforts of all the team members, we got a high result for this project. 3. Balancing my work and study really well, setting my own deadlines and targets to each coursework, listing all the structures for each coursework and making sure they met the deadlines. 4.During my dissertation process, I have learnt quickly how to use a complicated financial software Bloomberg which was completely new to me in order to gain market and historical data for listed companies. finally, I successfully finished my dissertation and got a distinction level for it. 5. Working as a voluntary assistant to help the trust director with the general office work and assist daily running of the vantage clothes shop.
Nov 2, 2012 12:39 AM
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4.During my dissertation process, I have learnt quickly how to use a complicated financial software Bloomberg which was completely new to me in order to gain market and historical data for listed companies. finally, I successfully finished my dissertation and got a distinction level for it. I learned quickly how to use the [blah blah] software. I would say this: I learned how to use the complicated Bloomberg financial software, which was new to me, to gather market and historical data for companies listed on the stock exchange. After I finally finished my dissertation, it was not only a success, I was actually awarded a high level of distinction for it. Those are some BIG sentences...... you must be studying for admission to grad school?
November 2, 2012
1.The company culture of transparency, accountability, INTEGRITY, dignity and teamwork, which is really attractive. 2. Why are you applying to your chosen scheme? As it is relevant to what I have learnt. 3. Working on a team project during my degree, allocating different tasks to group members taking their individual skills into consideration. With the efforts of all the team members, we got a GOOD result for this project. 3. Balancing my work and study really well, setting my own deadlines and targets to each coursework, listing all the structures for each coursework and making sure they met the deadlines. 4.During my dissertation process, in a very short time, I learnt the use of the complicated financial software Bloomberg, which was completely new to me, to get/gather market and historical data for listed companies. Finally, I successfully finished my dissertation with a distinction. 5. Working as a voluntary assistant to help the trust director with the general office work and assist IN THE daily running of the vantage clothes shop. ************************************************************************************************ You should put these up in the notebook section. There are many correction tools there which make the correction much more visible. All the best :)
November 2, 2012
Kitty
Language Skills
Chinese (Mandarin), English
Learning Language
English