Jinx
Is this paragraph correctly written? “I should punch you in the nose right now, you totally deserve it! Stupid.” Helen said fondly. Except she could never do that. James had such a nice little nose. That looked a bit funny when he laughed, and every once in a while you could see a smudge of ink there. Or toothpaste. Sometimes even chocolate. Oh, and that one time, a noodle (unfortunate incident involving noodle soup, a minor explosion and James foolish decision to sit within a ten feet radius from Helen and a stove).
Jun 25, 2013 4:22 PM
Answers · 4
“I should punch you in the nose right now. You totally deserve it! Stupid." Helen said fondly. Except she could never do that, because James had such a nice little nose. It was a nose that looked a bit funny when he laughed, and every once in a while you could see a smudge of ink there. Or toothpaste. Sometimes even chocolate. Oh, and that one time, a noodle (unfortunate incident involving noodle soup, a minor explosion and James' foolish decision to sit within a ten foot radius from Helen and a stove). Some of what I corrected is stylistic preference but was necessary to make the story flow naturally. Hope this helps
June 25, 2013
Hahhahahahahahahhahahahahaahaa... great story....
June 25, 2013
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Jinx
Language Skills
English, Serbian
Learning Language
English