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Is this sentence right? Please help me check the grammar of the sentence below: Continuing the success of the East-West Economic Corridor (EWEC) International Investment, Trade and Tourism Fair was held in 2007, 2012 and 2013 at Danang city, the EWEC International Investment, Trade and Tourism Fair - Danang 2014 will be held between 15th and 20th August at the Da Nang Fair and Exhibition Centre at 09 Cach Mang Thang Tam Street, Cam Le District, Danang city.
Feb 24, 2014 2:36 AM
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Original: Continuing the success of the East-West Economic Corridor (EWEC) International Investment, Trade and Tourism Fair was held in 2007, 2012 and 2013 at Danang city, the EWEC International Investment, Trade and Tourism Fair - Danang 2014 will be held between 15th and 20th August at the Da Nang Fair and Exhibition Centre at 09 Cach Mang Thang Tam Street, Cam Le District, Danang city. ================================================ Revision: The East-West Economic Corridor (EWEC) International Investment, Trade, and Tourism Fair was held in Danang during 2007, 2012, and 2013, enjoying great success. The Fair will be held in Danang again in 2014, running from August 15th - 20th at the Danang Fair and Exhibition Centre, 09 Cach Mang Thang Tam Street, Cam Le District. __________________________________ Notes: 1. I broke it into two sentences. It is grammatically incorrect to use a comma after the first 'Danang city'. [rule: cannot join two independent clauses with only a comma] 2. No need to use the word 'city' after 'Danang'. 3. No need to repeat the full name of the Fair again after the first sentence. I simply referred to it as 'The Fair' to start the second sentence. ALSO, I inserted a comma after 'Trade' in the name to avoid confusion. The Fair is about 3 things: (1) investment, (2) trade, and (3) tourism -- NOT 2 things: (1) investment, (2) trade and tourism. 4. You last spelled the city as 'Da Nang' -- I changed it to 'Danang'. If the Exhibition Center spells it as 'Da Nang', you can change it back. 5. The phrase 'between August 15th and 20th' is not completely clear -- does it include the 15th and the 20th, or is it on the dates in between ... the 16th to 19th? Changing to 'running from ...' includes the 15th and 20th without question. 6. I used a comma to replace 'at' in giving the address. It reads more cleanly, and the final 'Danang city' is not needed.
February 24, 2014
Hang Bui
Language Skills
English, Vietnamese
Learning Language
English