Should I replace theses sentences ? Are these good sentences or should use something else? Due to the alignment of my research interests with the interests of its excellent faculty, the X de- partment at Y university is especially attractive to me. After working for X years and Y months, having gained practical experience and proper tools needed to create something meaningful and original, and having received a full scholarship from Z Institute and other institutes, I decided to pursue a Master's degree in XX.
Nov 30, 2014 5:56 PM
Answers · 2
My opinion:I would write more directly and add some additional support to your statements. (I am assuming you are trying to promote your skills ) I am especially interested in the X department at Y university because the research interests of the faculty align very well with mine, and I feel that I could make important contributions to this work. I feel that I am ready to make meaningful advances in the study of X. I have worked in the field for over Y years, so I have the needed general experience and proper knowledge of the relevant tools. Having received an offer of a full scholarship from a number of universities, including Z, now is the time for me to pursue my Master's degree.
November 30, 2014
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