1. 'd = had (for past perfect) or would. Normally, you can tell from the context, but you can tell from the grammar too, because "had" is used with a past participle (PP) and "would" with an infinitive:
I'd done it when he arrived (=had)
I'd do homework every night when I was a student (=would)
2. "set yourself up to fail"/"set yourself up for failure" = do something foolish that guarantees you will fail.
eg. "If you don't study regularly, you're just setting yourself up to fail"
3. "But you can certainly change how you respond [to situations in general], and specifically, whether you learn from the [specific] situation [we are talking about now]." - I had to guess a little about the context, but hopefully adding those words in makes the sentence a little easier to understand.
Feel free to ask any questions. If you don't ask questions when you don't understand, you just set yourself up to fail ;-)