hello.. .As you are much elder than me ,you have seen the world more than me.i cant give you an advice but only suggestion.I know you have answers for all your questions.All are good questions.
how you live your life ,when you know the time of your death ?
"i would like to make use of my presence at this moment to overcome my absence at a later time,for converting it to my presence when i am absent by leaving footprints of my life in someones heart and at this moment i will fill the blanks of my life to complete its purpose and meaning."