Don't get me wrong: your sentence is fantastic. However, there are a few parts that are slightly off. "한국여행에 관하여" sounds as if it were a documentary created by a third party, maybe a travel guide, and not your personal experience. Granted, the best translation of "to enjoy" is "즐기다", but we don't use it the way English speakers use "to enjoy". The same with "즐거운". It isn't exactly wrong, but it just doesn't sound natural. "기억" means memory, but a factual one. For something emotion related, "추억" is the correct pick. 제 한국여행기를 비디오로 만들어봤어요. 편집이 썩 좋지는 않지만 한국에서 만났던 친구들이 기쁘게 봐줬으면 좋겠어요. 좋은 추억들을 만들어줘서 고마워요.

충분히 아주 좋아요!!!! 비디오 편집이 좋지 않지만~ --> 부족한 편집 실력이지만 ~ 이렇게 쓰셔도 좋아요!