javi
Please help me to correct Charging entrance fees for public places where people can explore their own history and heritage leads to detrimental social issues.Especially, since these types of places are restricted to the people who can afford the leisure activities, the majority of people are not aware of their true meaning of cultural and historical values. Furthermore, national museums where important documents are stored which represent the foundations of the actual political and legal system of a country or ancient crafts which depict our predecessor's way of life.If the general public doesn't have the least comprehension about how their nation has built up facing political and economic crisis until now, such nations end up an anarchic country.
Nov 13, 2017 3:49 PM
Answers · 1
First of all, pretty flawless - but here would be my revisions: (me: post masters level education) Charging entrance fees for public places where people can explore their own history and heritage leads to detrimental social issues.Especially since (removed comma because Especially becomes an adverb in this case) these types of places then become restricted to only those who can afford the expense of leisure activities; the majority of people then become unaware of the true meaning of their cultural and historical values. Furthermore, national museums where important documents are stored, which represent the foundations of the actual political and legal system of a country or ancient crafts (removed 'which' - sentence lacks a predicate otherwise) depict the way of life of our previous generations (more specific).If the general public doesn't have the least bit of comprehension about how their nation has constructed itself facing its own political and economic crisis until now, such nations end up as an anarchic country. Hope it helps!
November 13, 2017
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javi
Language Skills
English, Swahili
Learning Language
English