"The banking industry is a giant sector of business and finance that has existed in human advancement in some form for thousands of years. In the modern world, the banking industry plays a large part in financial relations, as it is the biggest and most popular means for investing, borrowing, and storing money. Banks exist all over the world, and are usually heavily regulated by their governments in order to prevent corruption and protect the money of the general public.
Vietnam, like the rest of Asia, has entered a period of slower growth. Besides the manufacturing and agricultural sectors, other industry sectors are being adversely affected by this period of slower growth and the banking sector is no exception. With lower credit growth, tighter margins and high levels of non-performing loans, it is evident that banks are operating in a challenging environment."
Great job overall! I only made some small changes to make it a little more smooth.