A writing about a diagram. Is there any sentence or place that I should improve?Thanks in advance The diagram presents how the recyclables are assembled, processed and then generated into products. At the beginning of the cycle, recyclables from households, businesses and individual customers, are put in three proper dustbins which are labelled with bottles, paper and durables respectively. These recyclable materials are then collected from the bins, after which they are sent to material recovery facilities. In the next step, reusable materials are classified into three different sorts by special recovery facilities. Soft drink containers are delivered to the soft drink company, while newspapers and paper towels are transferred to paper and pulp mills, before being generated into products. In the final stage, the rest of the recyclables are further processed. After being cleaned, classified and smashed, these remaining materials are circulated into processed recyclables businesses and then become the inputs of engineering firms and property developers, thereby being products.
Aug 20, 2018 11:05 AM
Answers · 4
Your description of the diagram is clear and easy to understand. There are no major problems with your description, but perhaps it could be slightly improved in the following ways: a. A native speaker of English would be more likely to use an adjective like 'strong', 'durable' or 'heavy-duty' instead of 'proper' to describe the dustbin. b. 'Refuse bin' is a better word in this case than 'dustbin'. c. Use the indefinite article 'a' instead of 'the' in front of the phrase 'soft drinks company' as you are speaking about soft drinks companies in general and not a specific or particular soft drinks company. d. The recyclables are 'broken down', not smashed, as the latter describes a very specific action, whereas recyclables are reduced in size through many means besides smashing, e.g. crushing, melting, compressing, etc. e. The meaning of the final sentence is not clear enough. I suggest that you change the last clause to: and turned into products.
August 20, 2018
The details are placed in my NOTEBOOK section as well as the diagram.
August 20, 2018
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