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Does this make sense Aquarium visitors saw a dramatic increase to reach a peak at appro 35% in 1985 Or should I write " the percentage of Aquarium visitors saw... " or should I write " aquarium saw..." ?
Sep 1, 2018 6:49 AM
Answers · 4
Also could be: "Aquarium visits dramatically increased, peaking at 35% in 1985."
September 1, 2018
The aquarium saw a dramatic increase of visitors to reach an approximate peak of 35% in 1985
September 1, 2018
How about "we saw a dramatic 35% increase in the number of aquarium visitors in 1985"?
September 1, 2018
Original Student Sentence: Aquarium visitors saw a dramatic increase to reach a peak at appro 35% in 1985 *confusing: "to reach a peak at appro 35%"? Possible Corrections: In 1985, the aquarium's attendance increased by approximately 35% (compared to when?) The aquarium's attendance reached a peak of approximately 35% in 1985. And many more options... Consider placing your subject at the beginning of the sentence.
September 1, 2018
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