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Does this make sense
Aquarium visitors saw a dramatic increase to reach a peak at appro 35% in 1985
Or should I write " the percentage of Aquarium visitors saw... " or should I write " aquarium saw..." ?
Sep 1, 2018 6:49 AM
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Answers · 4
Also could be:
"Aquarium visits dramatically increased, peaking at 35% in 1985."
September 1, 2018
The aquarium saw a dramatic increase of visitors to reach an approximate peak of 35% in 1985
September 1, 2018
How about "we saw a dramatic 35% increase in the number of aquarium visitors in 1985"?
September 1, 2018
Original Student Sentence:
Aquarium visitors saw a dramatic increase to reach a peak at appro 35% in 1985
*confusing: "to reach a peak at appro 35%"?
Possible Corrections:
In 1985, the aquarium's attendance increased by approximately 35% (compared to when?)
The aquarium's attendance reached a peak of approximately 35% in 1985.
And many more options...
Consider placing your subject at the beginning of the sentence.
September 1, 2018
