simba0722
Does this sound natural? 1. Even though being married, there still a voice inside me telling that I want to live my life on my own terms. 2. Even after marrying, there's still something inside me that says I want to live my life on my own terms.
Jul 2, 2019 12:20 AM
Answers · 7
Please, consider the following proposal: {Even though (1) I'm married now / Even after I'm married} (2, 3), [I feel that] (4) I {want to / will} (5) live my life still (6) in my own way (7). (1) "Even though" is the best beginning, because it shows clearly that a statement will follow that is immediately restricted or contradicted by another statement. (2) "Even though being married" and "Even after marrying" are advanced grammatical constructions and sound stilted. A simpler form is more natural. (3) Use the second phrase, if you aren't married yet. (4) The voice or the something inside you that says or tells you something, are far too poetical expressions, as that they could be considered natural. So, better express it in one simple word: "feel". It would be better though, if you'd let the whole construction away. It adds no relevant information. (5) “will” shows your resoluteness in the best possible way. (6) “still” emphasizes continuity here. (7) Let's bet: 95% of all the people on the street would say “way” here. Cheers!
July 2, 2019
1. has a grammatical error. "There is still a voice.." 2. this only works if you were just married and the listener knows it. I don't think they are especially unnatural, but they don't sound profound either. But it really would depend on the context and what you are trying to say. My suggestion. "Even though I'm married, I have a voice inside me telling me to live my life on my own terms." (it strikes me as odd that a voice would tell you what to want. A voice would tell you what you should do or what you need to do.)
July 2, 2019
Thank you very much for your comments.
July 2, 2019
Personally, as a native, I think it would sound more natural to say something like... "Even though I'm married, there is still a voice inside telling me to live my life on my own terms." or "Even after getting married, there's still something inside of me that says I want to live my life on my own terms." Hope this helps.
July 2, 2019
#1 is a little bit unnatural [in particular the part that says “Even though being married”]. In #1 you also should have said “there is” not just “there” and “telling me” instead of just “telling” (although this does not sound natural either because you repeat the word “me”). #2 doesn’t have any grammatical errors that I can identify, but stylistically doesn’t sound the best. I would say “Even after marriage, there is [not there’s... contractions come across as stylistically immature] still a voice inside my head telling me to live my life on my own terms.”
July 2, 2019
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