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Fernando
give back Hello! Can you tell me which of these sentences sounds better? "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings start to rule, they start to give back to catholics some rights that were taken by Elizabeth" or "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings start to rule, they start to give some rights back to catholics that were taken by Elizabeth" or ""When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings start to rule, they start to give catholics back some rights that were taken by Elizabeth" Thank you!!!
Aug 13, 2019 1:35 PM
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Answers · 7
The 1st one is best. I would replace the second comma with a semi-colon - or maybe a full stop.
August 13, 2019
In addition to the other good suggestions, I’d consider adding “away” after “taken”. Also it’s a little inaccurate talking about “Stuart kings starting to rule” because that’s one instant. Or you could say simply, relying a little on common knowledge “After Elizabeth’s death, the Stuart kings gradually restored rights to Catholics.”
August 13, 2019
I think in this situation we would gravitate to using "the" here to specify specific rights. "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings start to rule, they start to give catholics back some *of the* rights that were taken by Elizabeth." But it's also a bit of a run-on and this could be fixed by adding a connecting word: "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings start to rule, *and* they start to give catholics back some of the rights that were taken by Elizabeth." Also, for some reason my English doesn't like "start" here very much. The sentence works, but it would flow a little more if we use begin: "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings begin to rule, and they start to give catholics back some of the rights that were taken by Elizabeth." I think it may just be that we use "begin" more with "to rule." Plus, using the same word twice in the same sentence (sometimes even the same paragraph) is regarded as mediocre writing. Also, I forgot, you have to capitalize Catholic: "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings begin to rule, and they start to give Catholics back some of the rights that were taken by Elizabeth." Finally, repeating Elizabeth's name has a bad effect: "When Elizabeth dies, the Stuart kings begin to rule, and they start to give Catholics back some of the rights that were taken by her."
August 13, 2019
Fernando
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