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Nguyên Nguyên
Writing The table illustrates how the modes of transport changed in Shanghai between 1996 and 2020. It can be clearly seen that in 1996, the bus made up the largest proportion of the user while the most popular modes of transport in Shanghai in 2020 were going to the car. As is presented in the table, in 1996, the highest rate belonged to the bus, accounting for 39% of passenger kilometers, which is estimated to drop at 22% in 2020. Bicycle was second on the list, with around 27%. However, in 2020, bicycle was used less than that of 1996. (3%) . On the other hand, we can see that the train was the least popular vehicle but this figure will increase to 13% in 2020. It is projected that there will be a gradual decline in the use of scooter and walking during the period. (7% and 3% respectively ).Car was expected to rise dramatically from 15% in 1996 to 52% in 2020.
Sep 17, 2019 2:30 PM
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Answers · 2
Is this for IELTS writing? Writing that you would like corrected will get more responses in the "notebook" section. In general, this is clear and well written. I would recommend using plurals to speak about the methods of transportation in most cases. Some examples: It can be clearly seen that in 1996, the bus made up --> It can be clearly seen that in 1996, busses made up However, in 2020, bicycle was used less --> However, in 2020, bicycles were used less Also when speaking about the future be careful which tense you use. Two issues I noticed: 1. this figure will increase to 13% in 2020. ---> This figure is expected to increase to 13% in 2020 We cannot say "will" because "will" indicates certainty. 2. Car was expected to rise dramatically from 15% in 1996 to 52% in 2020. ---> The use of cars has risen dramatically since 1996 and is expected to rise to 52% in 2020. (This is one suggestion) Other notes: Be specific, in this sentence "in 1996, the highest rate belonged to the bus" we need to know the "highest rate" of what? Careful with comparisons: "However, in 2020, bicycle was used less than that of 1996." Should be " bicycles were used less than in 1996." OR "The rate of bicycle use was less that of 1996." However the first sounds better in my opinion. Also, next time it would be helpful if you can include a link to the chart being referenced. Let me know if you have any other questions! Good work!
September 17, 2019
Please, help me !!!
September 17, 2019
Nguyên Nguyên
Language Skills
English, Vietnamese
Learning Language
English