As I read this, I did not see anything that NEEDS to be changed. This looks to me like a poem. It portrays your emotions for someone. As Tanja stated, you COULD change a couple things (Also, I think they meant, "I don't like to talk about it") but doing so could change the tone of the poem. For example, adding the suggested changes may give the message a more "casual" feeling. But this poem feels deep, and I think that was your intention.