your help is in desperate need! I want to have my English composition corrected.
I want to make it more native...please help me! thanks^ ^
The Popularity of Adventurous Activities
As is known to all, there exist a rapidly-increasing number of adventurous activities, like bungee jumping and rocking, which arouse great interest and enjoy popularity, especially among the youth.
A numerous portion of people against these activities hold the view that they are of high risk and should be constrained or even be forbidden, while others insist these activities should be encouraged on the grounds that they can bring people fresh experiences.
As for me, I prefer the latter opinion. First and foremost, taking adventurous activities, as is universally acknowledged, has been nothing but an effective channel to alleviate the pressure of work and life. Moreover, with a variety of obstacles challenging us, I consider it a fashionable and efficient means to temper our courage and willpower. From the economic point of view, it will surely attract plenty of people to participate in, giving rise to a brand new economic growth point.
All in all，with good health condition, we should spare no effort to ensure its sound development, in pursuit of the rewarding enjoyment brought by adventurous activities.