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exercise - https://www.ielts-exam.net/ielts_writing_samples_task_2/1112/ In present days, the access to video games is available for many people, including children. However, video games can have positive and negative points for young players. On one hand, playing video games is a great way to relieve stress and boost creativity, on the other hand, many games are not fit for kids. Playing video games is a hobby that can relax players and make them imagine the existence of a new world. The challenges of many games are thrilling and exciting, therefore, they become a way to spend accumulated energy and distract the mind from everyday problems. Furthermore, as visiting a different world with magical powers and beings is common in the video game world, the child is using its imagination constantly. A commonly mentioned problem with video games is that there are games not fit for children. Some games are violent, sexual, gross and even aimed at players with over 18 years old. A child can hide this from the parents or be ignorant about the age problem and, consequently, be exposed too early to heavy matters and images. Video games have much to offer to children mental health and development. Yet, parents must keep track of what their kids are playing and choose wisely the games to offer. With the right games and stimulus, video games can help make a colourful and happy childhood.
Mar 2, 2021 4:23 PM
Corrections · 1
exercise - https://www.ielts-exam.net/ielts_writing_samples_task_2/1112/ At the present time, access to video games is available for many people, including children. However, video games can have positive and negative points for young players. (You don't need this sentence. If you include it change to benefits and drawbacks or pros and cons) On one hand, playing video games is a great way to relieve stress and boost creativity, on the other hand, many games are not fit for kids. Playing video games is a hobby that can relax players and make them imagine the existence of a new world. The challenges of many games are thrilling and exciting, therefore, they become a way to spend accumulated energy and distract the mind from everyday problems. Furthermore, as visiting a different world with magical powers and beings is common in the video game world, the child is using its imagination constantly. A commonly mentioned problem with video games is that there are games that are not fit for children. Some games are violent, sexual, gross and even aimed at players over 18 years old. A child can hide this from their parents or be ignorant about the age problem and, consequently, be exposed too early to heavy matters and images. Video games have much to offer children's mental health and development. Yet, parents must keep track of what their kids are playing and choose wisely the games to offer. With the right games and stimulus, video games can help make for a colourful and happy childhood.
This is a nice essay with some correct sentences and a suitable structure. In your first body paragraph, two of the three sentences apply to any players, not just children. The subject of the essay is children so you need to make sure it all relates to them. In comparison your disadvantages paragraph is all about children, which is great. The conclusion is fine. Is this 250 words? Overall a very good answer.
March 2, 2021
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