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Cristina
Essay: individual vs team sports - It is better for young people to take part in team sports at school than to practice individual sports (e.g. tennis, gymnastics). Do you agree? Practicing sports offer young people a host of emotional and physical benefits, from helping them to stay fit, build self-esteem, and learn how to work with others. Educators believe that they should play team sports rather than individual sports, and I agree with them. First of all, while individual sports promote a higher amount of discipline, team sports are more enjoyable, character builder, and can make unforgettable memories. Also, motivation is a very important factor that team sports bring out more than individual ones. While a person exercises along with a team, having teammates seeing what he or she is doing boosts one's motivation. Moreover, emotional support is even more important. Having a team around to cheer you up with your successes and soothe you with your failures provides what you need to progress excellently. In addition, playing team sports gives you a chance to learn important social skills, like teamwork. You work as a team, so you focus on the goal of the team. You become more responsible for the result of the whole team. And when you win, it is an enormous joy for all the members, because all of them play a role. Also, you can get more support, either technical or emotional, from exercising in a group instead of alone. Furthermore, team sports will prepare you for the many challenges you will encounter in life. They enhance your critical thinking and foster your self-esteem. You will learn problem-solving and goal-setting skills, and how to stay positive through adversity. In my opinion, joining more than one team is very useful for children to meet others, build up social skills, and to develop habits that will make them more likely to be active adults. Thank you :)
27 de abr de 2020 13:52
Correções · 6
1
Essay: individual vs team sports

- It is better for young people to take part in team sports at school than to practice individual sports (e.g. tennis, gymnastics). Do you agree?

Practicing sports offer young people a host of emotional and physical benefits, from helping them to stay fit, build self-esteem, and learn how to work with others. Educators believe that they should play team sports rather than individual sports, and I agree with them.

First of all, while individual sports promote a higher amount of discipline, team sports are more enjoyable, character builder, and can make unforgettable memories. Also, motivation is a very important factor that team sports bring out more than individual ones. While a person exercises along with a team, having teammates seeing what he or she is doing boosts one's motivation. Moreover, emotional support is even more important. Having a team around to cheer you up (usually we "cheer up someone" someone when they are down, not when they succeed at something. "cheer you on" would sound better here) with your successes and soothe you with your failures provides what you need to progress excellently.

In addition, playing team sports gives you a chance to learn important social skills, like teamwork. You work as a team, so you focus on the goal of the team. You become more responsible for the result of the whole team. And when you win, it is an enormous joy for all the members, because all of them play a role. Also, you can get more support, either technical or emotional, from exercising in a group instead of alone.

Furthermore, team sports will prepare you for the many challenges you will encounter in life. They enhance your critical thinking and foster your self-esteem. You will learn problem-solving and goal-setting skills, and how to stay positive through adversity.

In my opinion, joining more than one team is very useful for children to meet others, build up social skills, and to develop habits that will make them more likely to be active adults.

Thank you :)

<em>Great job on this essay Cristina! Your writing is very good and I really couldn't find any mistakes besides the suggestion I made above with one sentence. </em>

<em>I agree with your stance but also find individual sports very challenging. Learning to hone ones mind and self control can be just as difficult and rewarding. </em>
27 de abril de 2020
1
There are just a couple of minor things that haven't been covered:

Essay: individual vs team sports

- It is better for young people to take part in team sports at school than to practice individual sports (e.g. tennis, gymnastics). Do you agree?

Practicing sports offers young people a host of emotional and physical benefits, from helping them to stay fit, build self-esteem, and learn how to work with others.

That should be "offer<em>s</em>", not "offer". "But isn't 'sports' plural?", I may hear you ask. It is, but that's not the thing that is doing the offering. The act of "<em>practicing</em> sports" is, and that's a singular thing.

...

First of all, while individual sports promote a higher amount of discipline, team sports are more enjoyable, character <s style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">builder </s>building, and can make unforgettable memories.

Team sports may be <em>a</em> character builder, but you can't say that something is "character builder" without the a in front of it. You can say either:
"<em>a</em> character builder"; or
"<em>a</em> builder of character" (both of which describe what team sports are), or
"character build<em>ing</em>", which describes what they do.

Also, motivation is a very important factor that team sports bring out more than individual ones. While a person exercises along with a team, having teammates seeing what he or she is doing boosts one's motivation. Moreover, emotional support is even more important. Having a team around to cheer you up with your successes and soothe you with your failures provides what you need to progress excellently.

I agree with the other correction about the changes needed here. However I would probably say "commiserate with you" when there is a failure.

This is indeed very well written; your English is at an advanced level.


28 de abril de 2020
In my opinion, Its depend on what she/he enjoy the sport.
27 de abril de 2020
I really love sports so I agree with u.
27 de abril de 2020
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