The Benefits of Having More Televised Sport

Nowadays, due to the rapid growth of technology, a large number of major events, including sport, have been are being broadcasted live to millions of people in the world. This made is a big difference in comparison to the early 1990s. Although many people think having more televised sport are the is disadvantageous, I personally consider the benefits to be greater.

<em>Broadcast</em> is one of those words which don't change between present, past and past participle form. Common error.

The first point I want to mention is that a great number of people would know about an event if it is broadcasted on television. There It is a true thing that almost everyone’s home in this day and age has at least one television at the present. From morning till the bedtime, everyone spends his or her spare time to watching various programs on television. Therefore, television is the most effective way to transfer information to most of people.

Good, but some parts needed tweaking to sound clear. For example, <em>at present</em> can also mean <em>for the moment</em> (a temporary situation).

The second thing I want to bring up is the comfort and relaxation convenience. If one doesn’t have condition is unable to go to the venue where the event is happening the event and buy a ticket, he or she can stay at home and watch it on television. Also, if one is busy for work and can't watch the live broadcast, he then it can be watched again later on television. That is very handy.

I liked the fact you used <em>cite</em>, but you <em style="color: #0000ff;">cite a reference</em>.  That is, you refer to a concrete quote or piece of information which already exists.  Misusing a word like this is a quick way to lose marks.

"Comfort and relaxation" are only vaguely connected with <em>convenience</em>. It looked as if you changed the topic mid-paragraph. Then I needed to find a synonym for the last sentence. ;)

It's not very acceptable these days to use <em>he</em> to mean "either a male or a female".  You can use <em>he or she</em>, or even <em>they</em>, or rewrite the sentence to avoid the problem (<em>it can be watched</em>).

In conclusion, new technology, especially in the area of broadcasting, has changed our lives so much. In my opinion, the benefits from having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages.

A suggestion for "are greater than": <em>far outweigh</em>.  <em>The benefits far outweigh the disadvantages.</em> If you mean "less than", you can use <em>is/are outweighed by...</em>

Hope that helps a little.

Benefits of having more televised sport

Nowadays, due to the rapid growth of technology, a large number of major events, (including sport) have been broadcasted live to millions of people in the world. This makes a big difference in comparison to the early 1990s. Although many people think having more televised sport is a disadvantage, I personally consider the benefits to be greater.

The first thing I want to mention is a great number of people know about an event if it is broadcasted on television. It's true that almost everyone’s house has at least one television at the present. From morning till the bed time, everyone spends their spare time to watching various programs on television. Therefore, that is the most effective way to transfer information to most of people.

The second thing I want to cite is the comfort and relaxation. If one doesn’t have condition the opportunity to go to the place happening hosting/holding the event and buy a ticket, he can stay at home and watch it on television. Also, if one is busy for work and can’t watch it live, he can watch it again on television later. It is very convenient.

In conclusion, new technology, especially on in the field of broadcasting, has changed our lives so much. In my opinion, the benefits from having more televised sport are greater than the disadvantages.