Really nice!

Loneliness

Here are my lyrics... I just want to share them... please correct me if I have made any mistakes... I like metaphors, alliteration and so on :)

Lyrics = plural = they

Shear means to cut wool off a sheep.

her magic amber eyes are full of devilry,
her fingers like fine wines
so warm and make me feel creepy all over.

Creepy is used for horror films. Maybe a different word? Tingly?

her name is carnality, fascination, desperation.
her soul's tearful, life is misty.
there is no capacity.

in eternal sleep she is a nymph
An Oceanid with virgin lips
All these dreams like long bloody fillets
Strangle her to make a spirit.

A fillet (of fish, of meat) is something we fry up in a kitchen, so it sounds very strange when rhymed with something as ephemeral as spirit. I'd choose different words and not worry about rhyming.

For him she's a cut flower
Another hot number without any power
For her he's a man; just another one.

"Without a power" sounded a little awkward.

Apart from that, these are really well-written lyrics. :)

loneliness

here is my lyrics..just want to shear it...please correct me if I have mistakes..I like metaphors, alliteration and so on)

her magic amber eyes are full of devilry,
her fingers like fine wines
so warm and make me feel creepy all over.

her name is carnality, fascination, desperetion.
her soul's tearful, life is misty.
there is no capacity.

in eternal sleep she is a nymph
An Oceanid with virgin lips
All these dreams like long bloody fillets
Strangle her to make a spirit.

For him she is cut flower
Another hot number without a power
For her he's a man, just anothr one.