Speaking of books, I have forgotten most of them. I just knew my life has changed enormous and I have to rely on myself. I learned from my idol Kobe that I shall never give up.

Speaking of books, most of them I have already forgotten. I just know my life is changing enormously and I only rely on myself for everything. I never give up -- just like my idol Kobe, who was an amazing guy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm not sure what meaning you wanted for the second sentence. Maybe one of the following? "I only rely on myself for everything" = I do everything independently, without asking other people to help me "everything depends on me" or "everything depends on the choices I make" = my choices and my actions are what changes my life