Pesquise entre vários professores de Inglês...
Vivian
Grammar check again plz ... :)
Hi Italki friends, could you tell me if the below speech is flow and nature? Is there any part I can improve? Appreciated your help!
Good evening, Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and our guests. It is my honour to be here today, thanks again for Andrew's invitation.
My name is Vivian, originally I am from XX but I have been living in XX and New Zealand for the past ten years.
Around five years ago I worked for Andrew as a XX at XX , he is a great boss that's why we always stay in touch. :)
Two and a half years ago I moved back to Auckland from XX, because back then I found a small business and wanted to test the Auckland market first.
During my entrepreneurship journey, I also went back to Uni finished a bachelor degree in XX. So I am a strong believer in ongoing education and business innovation. If anyone is interested in this area, welcome to chat with me after this meeting.
Currently, I am working for XX. And why I want to join toastmaster club is that, since a long time ago, I have realised public speaking skill is critical for my leadership and career development. But because of my public-speaking fear, I never made a commitment to overcome this. Apart from worrying the language barrier as a foreigner, I am also a very shy person, this makes public speaking more challenging for me.
But, well, no pain any gain. This year, I told myself no matter what I need to do something to improve. So, here I am! Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity and thanks, Andrew.
4 de mai de 2020 03:55
Respostas · 4
Dear Vivian
Very well written. Here are some changes.
"Good evening Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and guests. It is an honour to be here today; thank you Andrew again for your invitation.
My name is Vivian and originally I am from XX, but I have been living in XX and New Zealand for the past ten years. About /Approximately five years ago I worked for Andrew as a XX at XX. He is a great boss and that is why we have always stayed in touch.
Two and a half years ago I moved back/returned to Auckland because I had found a small business and wanted to test the Auckland market.
During my entrepreneurial journey, I returned to University to finish a bachelors degree in XX. I am a strong believer in ongoing education and business innovation. If anyone is interested in these respective fields you are welcome to chat with me after my speech.
Currently I am working for XX . The reason why I am desirous of joining the Toastmaster Club is that public speaking skills are critical to my leadership and career development. I never made the commitment to overcome my public speaking fear. Apart from worrying about the language barrier as a foreigner, I am furthermore a very shy person. This makes public speaking a further challenge.
But, as they say, "No pain,no gain". This year I told myself that no matter what, I need to do something to improve. So,here I am! Thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity and once again, thank you Andrew."
4 de maio de 2020
Hi Laura and Geo, thanks heaps! you guys are awesome
4 de maio de 2020
Hey Vivian, it’s very good overall: I would change this in the 4th paragraph: (the reason I want to join the toastmaster club is: since a long.....)
Then : (apart from worrying about the language barrier...)
And at last: (no pain, no gain. )
Hope it works :)
4 de maio de 2020
Good evening, Madam Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and our guests. It is my *honor* to be here today. Thanks again for Andrew's invitation.
My name is Vivian, originally I am from XX but I have been living in XX and New Zealand for the past ten years.
Around five years ago I worked for Andrew as a XX at XX . He is a great boss that's why we always stay in touch. :)
Two and a half years ago I moved back to Auckland from XX because back then I found a small business and wanted to test the Auckland market first.
During my entrepreneurship journey, I also went back to Uni *to* finished a bachelor degree in XX. * I am a strong believer in ongoing education and business innovation. If anyone is interested in this area, we could chat after this meeting.
Currently, I am working for XX. *The reason why* I want to join toastmaster club is that, since a long time ago, I have realized public speaking skill is critical for my leadership and career development but because of my public-speaking fear, I never made a commitment to overcome this. *In addition* to the language barrier, I am also a very shy person *which* makes public speaking more challenging for me.
But, well, no pain no gain, so this year, I told myself * that* I needed to do something to improve* no matter what*. So, here I am! Thanks for giving me this wonderful opportunity and thank you Andrew.
Here are some corrections. Keep it up!
4 de maio de 2020
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Vivian
Habilidades linguísticas
Chinês (Mandarim), Inglês
Idioma de aprendizado
Inglês
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