Too late? Im old enough to have been around the block a couple of times by now. I've fallen in and out of love more than once and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever find someone I'd be happy with. No one can forget their first love because the first one is usually new and untainted by past experience. The longer you live the more people you meet the more things happen to you the harder it is to love anyone unconditionally. My new girlfriend had a long and serious and very intimate relationship with a man, and each time we touch I can't help but wonder if he did the same things to her, and whether she's thinking of him when we're together. There's no reason, for this except my stupid manly paranoia, but still it's there. It kills me to be so immature about, I have never felt this way before, I have never given a crap about a woman's past until now. I don't know if this is what love is, but it's tearing me apart. I don't know if i really like it, but I know for a fact that I can't/don't want to live without her. People always sold that BS about how, "if you love someone you'll let them go, and if the come back they really love you back." I beg to disagree now. If you love someone, you hold onto them, and fight for them, and do whatever you need to, to keep that person next to. Love is about sacrifice, and sacrifice is about pain. If you really love someone you should be willing to hurt for them, and that is the lesson I'm learning now. Each time I think of her and my heart aches, each time I see any evidence of her with her ex-bf and my body freezes up, it's love killing me little at a time. Rumi was right when he said that Love is a slaughterhouse.