it's not that easy there is a chinese song named 没那么简单, I will translate it as 'it's not that easy‘. it's a song discribled relationship, one is always hard to find a soulmate, even harder to fall in love without consider carefully after gone though heart brokens or witnessed betrayals, till one day accustomed to be alone. my most favourite line in the lyric is 曾经最掏心 所以最开心, it means we used to feel happness in our full heart because of the open heart. I think this sentence is not only describe feelings of lovers but every kind of relation, once there is hurt/lie/betrayal occured, our heart close little by little, till one day we got mature enough to deal with these cruel things, our heart will choose to be opened or to be closed. although we may won't get hurt by a close heart,we won't get fully happness either. I feel frustrated now, a friend of mine, I think she's not sincere as she was, I can feel.

conquering my weakness I have no idea how to improve my english writing. my process of learning is like a fly losts in it's way. no passion, impatient-my weakness leaded me into difficulties. I know it clearly, but I keep on behaving badly. it's hard for me to focus on learning over 30 minitues. so frustrated. I dreamt of a good job rather than strive fighting for it. perhaps that's part of the reason of the diference between rich and poor person, I believe wealthy people not born to be, enve if they are, they don't work hard on keeping thier money, losing them eventually by generation. there is an old saying goes in china like one can't always rich over 3 generations (富不过三代，乱译).

meeting I need attend the boring meeting no longer, Frankly speaking, it's wasting time only, no one dare to tell the truch, no one willing to tell the truth, "yes ,I agree" is the most frequently appeared sentences in the meeting.I wondered what's the purpose for the meeting? what's the reason for our boss have meeting every saturday? he could post a video to tell us what's his thought in mind, or he can only make his order by e-mail. sometime, I do feel sorry for him, he thought he's clever, he thought he knew very well of every employee, but.....perhaps he's really too old and too arrogant. I don't know how to anwser the question of what excatly I have done the details of my job like others, I made some documents, arranged some goods shipping out, if more words means have done more job? it's really strange, people keep talking their working details, this is really boring to death, what's the purpose for discussing our working details, it's joyful for those people who is good at talking, i heard they talked about what they had done, it's so amusing ,every details,every steps, it sounds like how busy of their week, full of job. anyway, finally i don't have to attend the meeting. it's a relief for me.

improving myself instead of complain. I was back for working have a few days now, because of my poor education background, it's really a little hard for me to find a good job, and also I have to say, I myself is the one should be blamed, I havn't tried my best to study hard, and I wasting time on complaining too much. currently, I should take the most of my day on improving myself instead of complain. Thanks for collecting my mistakes .

First notebook entry: Introducing myself i'm learning english ,because i want to change my job which a high english level needed . my native language is chinese ,i grew up in countryside with a little fortune of my family ,but i do feel happy when i recall my childhood times .it's so frustration to being a grown up ,anyway ,i won't lose hope .fighting for a live ,and fighting for a better live . i enjoying reading very much ,i would enjoy travelling all over the world if possible .hahaha . it will be appreciate for pointing out my mistakes .tks